He’s dead

On Sunday I encountered something I never thought I would face. Telling someone I’d never met that a person they love has died.

I thought that was the police officer’s role, someone else’s role, not the journalist’s. I know people may hear it on the radio for the first time. But the walls of the radio booth provide a security net. You sometimes forget how much the news might impact someone. Most times people who are very close to the deceased already know.

Not Sunday.

A woman called the newsroom, asking for an update on a story of a young man who had capsized in a boat. They hadn’t been able to find his body. They were close friends, but she didn’t want to call the family to see if he was dead. Her voice was cracking as she talked.

She said if the young man was dead, her daughter was going to fly to see the family.

I didn’t have an updated report, but here was a woman, waiting for me to give her an answer so she could move forward with her life.

After having my phone call transferred several times and playing the waiting game, I finally connected with the person I needed to talk to.

I found out the young man was dead. How do you tell someone that?

Nothing in journalism school prepares you to deal with death like that. You’re taught to take photos at accidents, speak with victims, be sensitive to those who are affected. You’re not taught how to tell someone directly that their friend has died. How do you do that?

She sounded even more emotional when she picked up the phone than when she had called earlier. I didn’t know what to say, so after a too-cheerful hello and recapping her question, I just told her. “The young man is dead.” Then I told her the story was on the news. I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t ask questions, soften the blow, comfort her. Nothing. He’s dead.

When I hung up, I continued my duties around the newsroom. I felt so cold, heartless. Was I really human? Do people ever get used to doing something like that? Did I help her, or make her pain worse?

One of my duties is to inform people, and sometimes that means printing stories on death and tragedy that are difficult to write. But sorting out my position in this role was different.

It’s two days later, and I’m still not sure what to think, but to the considerate woman who called the newsroom to avoid hurting her friends with the dreaded question, may you find comfort and be surrounded by many friends to help you through this difficult time.

Inside the CBC

The news happens in real life, but never in the newsroom.

What happens in the newsroom is people talk about news and create a way for it to get to everyone in the audience. Editors talk, researchers research, someone else looks through the archives, librarians archive stories, copyrights are checked, technicians untangle technical difficulties, and somewhere in a corner (or a big room) the anchor delivers the news stories that reporters from around the world have compiled.

Daughter teaches mother how to take care of the wheels

There’s a reason women are stereotyped as not knowing anything about cars, but like typical stereotypes, not everyone falls into the stereotype. In this case, some are experts.

On Monday night I attended Heels on Wheels, which was a car care event for women only. It was interesting to note the stark difference between the people there. The skill of the women teaching the seminar, and the lack of any car knowledge of some of those attending. The starkest contrast was between a mother and daughter.

Click here to see their story (and maybe learn something about cars yourself).

Student mental health… is it an issue?

Mental illness in college students is rising, said the mental health nurse at Loyalist College.

Immediately that made me think the stress is overwhelming more college students. They can’t handle it, and it’s taking its toll mentally. But looking into it more, there could be a lot of reasons. One of them seems to be more people are coming to school who are already diagnosed with a mental illness. What are the trends?

It’ll be an interesting day putting this story together!

When should discrimination be a concern?

Usually it’s men who stand around admiring motors and mufflers, but the ladies in Loyalist’s mechanics program decided it was time to switch things up. They bucked the stereotypes and hosted a ladies car care night. They wanted women to be able to help themselves when it comes to car care, and they thought it would be better if they had the opportunity to do it without the presence of men.

Get your dream job

“Good sometimes holds you back from the best,” that’s the best job advice I have received.

The trouble is, usually it’s difficult, or impossible, to see what the best could be, and usually it takes a daring move outside of the personal comfort zone. When it comes to jobs, especially with the plethora of choices, it’s particularly difficult to figure out what is the best.

What has education really done to men?

Recently an article by Kay S. Hymowitz previewing her book that came out on March first has gotten a lot of attention. The article is called, “Where have all the good men gone?”

The focus is on a state between boyhood and manhood the author calls “pre-adulthood.” This is the time when many men seemingly try to extend the carefree life of childhood and avoid taking on responsibility. It’s marked by a Peter Pan mentality, whether consciously so or not. 

If you want to get old, don’t stress about it

One hundred and one. Only a few people, comparatively speaking, have arrived successfully. Gertrude Matthews is one of them.

After seeing more than a century pass by, outliving her husband and two of her children, the only ailment she deals with is arthritis.

The spanking controversy

Katrina Geenevasen recently wrote a blog on a study that showed children who are spanked, are more likely to become aggressive by the age of five.

As Geenevasen said, spanking is supposed to bring positive results. This survey shows the opposite is true; more than half the children spanked frequently showed natural aggression by the time they were five, even as early as three.

Nature brings true equality

Natural disasters have the almost unique ability of bringing everyone to the same level of functioning. Nature shows no partiality and little mercy.

The most recent event is the volcano spewing lava high into the atmosphere and grounding planes going to and from Europe. Along with lava, the volcano has sent millions of dollars into the air while it has stranded thousands of people in Europe and many more hoping to travel to Europe.